New Finals Week Reforms to Occur: COLD Breakfast Everyday!

white feathers illustration
Photo by Aleksandr Slobodianyk on

One of the most iconic and enjoyable aspects of finals week is… hot breakfast!

But, Beaver has decided that with the mindset of change and future-oriented thinking, it will change the breakfast options next week.

Get excited for… COLD BREAKFAST!

“We need our students to be prepared for the unexpectedness of the future,” exclaimed the Coalition for Dining Services, the group that implemented the no juice policy last year. “One way to push our students to problem-solve and think on their feet is by changing our iconic breakfast options. The future is going to be a different place. We need to learn to adapt.”

“What?” Exclaimed Sophomore George Wood upon hearing the news.

Wood was later observed trying to toast a cold pancake during finals week.

SAGE will now be serving cold yogurt, cold pancakes, cold eggs, cold sausages, frozen fruit, and cold breakfast soup.

Get moving, quick, though, the more you wait, the colder it gets!



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