If You Don’t Vote Me For Student Council, I Will Literally Steal the Keys to Your Jeep Wrangler

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Yes, you, you reading this article. Go on your email right now and vote me for student council. I know, I know my speech was the same old stuff: I want to make sure all student voices are heard and improve pop up shop gear. But, I still get you, I get the students.

I am totally chill with whomever you choose. All the speeches were so good. Lol! Just vote for me.

Like, have you voted yet? Oh, you haven’t? Haha. That’s fine. I’m totally chill and down for whatever.

Still haven’t voted yet? Don’t know who to vote for? Ok, kiddo, I know you have that black north face backpack outside of the cafeteria. I see you swinging your jeep wrangler keys around. I will literally abduct your backpack and cruise away with your jeep wrangler if you don’t vote for me.

Well, anyway, I am super chill so… take your time.

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