New Study Reveals that Those Water Fountains on Upper Field are Actually Supposed to Work

Screen Shot 2019-04-03 at 6.59.54 PM.pngEver since the renovation of the Upper Field a couple years ago, students have been confused on the purpose of a water fountain there. Is it supposed to function? Or did the architect purposefully place the water fountain to trick students? Scientists are beginning to believe that water fountains are actually supposed to be functioning. I asked a faculty member, Todd More, Head of Water Fountain Maintenance, if this accusation was true.

“I mean, yeah I guess,” Todd said. “The water fountains are supposed to be pumping about half a gallon a minute. I’ve heard that they have been pumping about zero per minute. That’s a problem. Are we going to solve this problem? No. Of course not. No one has questioned it before, why start now? There are also misters I think… Whatever.”

Todd doesn’t seem to be overly concerned about the water fountains. What’s up with that Tom? Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem the water fountains will begin working anytime soon. Oh well.

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