Ever wondered where your tuition money really goes? The Beaver Dam launched a 12-week investigation and found the results.
Nearly 60% of tuition is put towards paying off the debt from the Celtics lucky’s performance last year.
The remaining 40% is spent working the wifi and buying cool new futurist furniture in the R + D.
There you have it. The cold hard facts.
Please note: this is a satire magazine, and these are not the real numbers.