Beaver Creates “OldView” Semester School For Students Who Just Want Traditional Learning For Once


Beaver prides itself on being different. However, between all the 3D printing and presentations, a minority of students feel they are missing out on the authentic high school experience.

“Sometimes, I think, I just want a school bell, a large test, and some nightmares about not finding the exam room,” explained Freshman Bella Howl. “I mean having thirteen 3D printers is cool and all, but can’t I just wait in line to sharpen my pencil at least once?

In response to growing student complaints, Beaver is beta testing a new one-term semester school: OldView. The program describes itself as “an institution for students who prefer a traditional school setting.”

All the faculty at OldView must be 80+ years old, have hearing loss, and refer to their students as “hooligans” or “pupils” in order to be hired.

“I am so excited for this program,” Howl continued. “I can’t wait to hear the sound of chalk on a chalkboard, really disconnect from technology, and flunk all my tests!”

Rather than taking a bus to the OldView program, located in Colonial Williamsburg, students will be taking a horse and buggy.

So, are you interested in getting the traditional high school experience? Start studying now though, you’ll have a pop quiz tomorrow!

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