Pastries Now Under Lock and Key to Prevent Student Theft During Admissions

cupcakes with chocolate shavings on top

With dessert gone, students are becoming increasingly more desperate to find ways to eat sweets at school. One of the most notable attempts being stealing pastries from the tables set up for admissions events.

“I did not even think desserts existed anymore,” claims senior Olivia Berman. “Until I saw the admissions pastries reappear from the ashes. I could not believe my eyes, I saw actual cupcakes, scones, and juice!”

Berman approached the pastry stand, eager for a sweet treat.

“I reached out, trying to secretly snatch a cupcake,” Berman recounts, a tear shedding from her eyes. “Until my hand hit the cold glass.”

According to Beaver Dam sources, the admissions department is launching a new initiative to prevent pastry theft during school events: adding a glass covering to the stand, which can only be opened via lock and key.

“We needed another alternative,” the admissions department recounts. “Our previous method of having teachers hoover over the stand does not seem to be working anymore. Placing the pastries under lock and key offered us the easiest, fastest, and simplest solution. It was an essential switch.”

According to a study conducted by the admissions department, the total number of thefts dropped from 145 cupcakes in the 2017-2018 school year, to 0 in the current 2018-2019 school year.

“I think I’m going to try to break the glass next time,” Berman concludes. “That will work.”

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