Beaver Tears Down R + D to Accommodate Student Parking Needs


Looking for a parking spot? Look no further, there will be none! Therefore, Beaver is launching a new construction plan set to launch in 2023. The plan? Tear down the R + D to accommodate student parking needs.

“We felt that 3D printers, life-size televisions, and recycling bins are not really that necessary” explained the buildings and grounds crew. “Parking is clearly more important for the academic prospects of the student body.”

The plan will begin by bulldozing the R + D; afterward will shovel out all debris; and finally, use a massive hammer to pound the R + D to bits and pieces. The plan will yield 400 new parking spots and students will no longer have to walk down Woodland.  

“Walking down Woodland is a real detriment to the study body,” explained senior Michelle MacCormick. “I am always late to class due to the trek. I already run cross country, I don’t need to run anymore.”

The project will take a total of 556 hours, and will require the commitment of a 32 person construction crew.

“It is definitely worth it,” MacCormick concluded.

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